Faber Academy Course – Week 2

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Second week in of the online course and I’m thoroughly enjoying myself.

This week it was all about POV – writing in first person, second person, third person. Personally I tend to write in my preferred first person so this exercise really helped pushed me that bit further than I’d push myself.

All of the virtual classmates were asked to chose from a selection of ideas to work with. I chose The Surprise in the Kitchen. We were asked to write 300 words in one person and then change it to another. Once happy with our work we post it to the forum where other classmates can read and comment on it. The swapping of feedback is fantastic for seeing the good and bad in your own work that you just can’t see yourself.

Here are my 300 words. I wrote it in my usual, comfortable, first person and then changed it to third. Personally I much preferred the first. Some agreed with me, saying the emotion for the reader is much closer in first. Others, however, disagreed. I’ll leave you to decide for yourself.

 

First person – The Surprise in the Kitchen

When I opened my eyes on that chilly Tuesday morning I didn’t realise there was a surprise waiting for me downstairs in the kitchen. I’d thought it was going to be a Tuesday morning like any other. But I was wrong.

Wrapping my pink fluffy dressing gown around me like a warm hug I padded softly to the bathroom with a yawn and a stretch; my usual routine. It wasn’t until I reached the bottom step of the stairs and smelled something peculiar I realised that Tuesday morning was going to be very different from any other indeed.

For a brief moment I stopped and closed my eyes. Was I still asleep? Still dreaming? “No,” my toes told me, as they squirmed in the thick carpet.

I tiptoed through the dining room before reaching the bright yellow room that was my kitchen. Sunshine beamed in at me through the small square window like the Cheshire cat, blinding me at first.

As I turned to follow my nose – to the smell – I saw him. Curled up on the door mat, like a hibernating hedgehog was Dinky; my little sausage dog. I loved that funny shaped animal so much. Just seeing him there made my heart rise and fall. He can’t have heard me creep in. Snuffly snores escaped him as his soft brown body rose and fell like my heart had. I stood and stared at him.

Not daring to move any closer (just in case), I shut my eyes once more and breathed in his musty scent. He must’ve been in the duck pond again, I thought.  An image of me dragging him out with a net, covered in soggy green weed sprang into my head. The memory of it pushed tears out of my tightly closed eyes. I knew when I opened them again he’d be gone, so I stayed very still until the smell disappeared completely. As I knew it would, because Dinky had died many years ago.

 

Third person – The Surprise in the Kitchen

When she opened her eyes on that chilly Tuesday morning she didn’t realise there was a surprise waiting for her downstairs in the kitchen. She’d thought it was going to be a Tuesday morning like any other. But she was wrong.

Wrapping her pink fluffy dressing gown around her like a warm hug she padded softly to the bathroom with a yawn and a stretch; her usual routine. It wasn’t until she reached the bottom step of the stairs and smelled something peculiar she realised that Tuesday morning was going to be very different from any other indeed.

For a brief moment she stopped and closed her eyes. Was she still asleep? Still dreaming? “No,” her toes told her, as they squirmed in the thick carpet.

She tiptoed through the dining room before reaching the bright yellow room that was her kitchen. Sunshine beamed in at her through the small square window like the Cheshire cat, blinding her at first.

As she turned to follow her nose – to the smell – she saw him. Curled up on the door mat, like a hibernating hedgehog was Dinky; her little sausage dog. She loved that funny shaped animal so much. Just seeing him there made her heart rise and fall. He can’t have heard her creep in. Snuffly snores escaped him as his soft brown body rose and fell like her heart had. She stood and stared at him.

Not daring to move any closer (just in case), she shut her eyes once more and breathed in his musty scent. He must’ve been in the duck pond again, she thought.  An image of her dragging him out with a net, covered in soggy green weed sprang into her head. The memory of it pushed tears out of her tightly closed eyes. She knew when she opened them again he’d be gone, so she stayed very still until the smell disappeared completely. As she knew it would, because Dinky had died many years ago.

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